Babylon A.D.

Babylon A.D. – 2008

**½ Out of ****

For the most part, saying that Vin Diesel has a vast emotional range is like saying a slab of processed cheese has an intriguing personality. That has not stopped him however from starring in generally entertaining and action packed films for a number of years now. Unfortunately, his latest effort, Babylon A.D. is less then intriguing as a Sci-Fi action film, and features his most lifeless and emotionless work yet.

Fox studios latest flop is for the most part an incoherent rehash of countless genre films and feels harshly neutered in storyline and plot. Some of the action sequences are interesting but never very coherent, and director Mathieu Kassovitz’s vision of a dystopian future is at best visually arousing if not original. In fact, there are so many similarities in plot, characters and mood to 2006’s superior Alfonso Cuaron film Children of Men, that I could, without hyperbole right an entire review on that alone.

But, of course, that is not my purpose here, and in this futuristic adventure, we follow Toorop (Diesel), a gun for hire as he takes an important and mysterious girl named Aurora (Melanie Thierry) from a monastery in Mongolia to New York City along with her guardian Sister Rebecca (Michelle Yoeh starring in her second stinker this year after Mummy 3). Throughout their journey, Toorop begins to notice strange occurrences surrounding Aurora, as do others; descending upon the trio are lackeys from a newly formed church, ruled The High Priestess (Charlotte Rampling) and soldiers claiming to be working for Aurora’s father, despite the fact that he died years ago. For Toorop, the mission’s success rewards him with the freedom to return to his family farm in the country that he left years ago. But will he have an epiphany of nobility, and put Aurora’s interest before his own? Well, you’ll have to wait and see. (Although I think you already know)

Although shot with purpose, the action sequences never seem to place the heroes in any sense of peril, which is partly due to the fact of Toorop being such an effective killer, that he is able to dispatch entire platoons of soldiers without being breaking a sweat. In addition, these stretches never add anything to the story, but exist simply as a corridor for Diesel to flex his muscles, grimace menacingly and yell a lot. (Which he does quite well I might add) To add insult to injury, the characters range from whining annoyances (Aurora, who spends most of the film running around and wailing like a banshee) to, jerks (Toorop, who has no problem abusing a young girl) to perfunctory clichéd sidekicks who have no other purpose then to lead to an “emotional” payoff in the closing acts. The key to this type of story is to have a reluctant hero, not a spiteful one; yet another thing that Children of Men did much more effectively.

To say that there a problems with the conclusion would be quite polite, as aside from being flung at us with incoherent speed, it feels both unfinished, with gaping plot lines left hanging, and to put it bluntly, feels stupid and unnecessary. You may have heard in the headlines that the director has been lambasting his own film, blaming Fox for compromising his vision. I for one will be looking for the director’s cut to see what is truly what. But despite what the future may hold, such an outcry does not bode well for the films success.

After reading this fairly harsh review, you may be confused with the star rating I assigned. Despite the mountain of follies shadowing this picture, I was consistently entertained between the eye rolls and never found myself wanting it to end. With a movie such as this, that is really all one is looking for. Babylon A.D. is B.A.D. but does not sink below the quality level of a Saturday night cable viewing. (Which I imagine, will arrive sooner then the studio would have liked)